Can 'friendly fire' damage your social contacts network ?

I never expected to be writing this quite so soon, I was expecting a problem to come from a troll I know would get me -I have reached my first surprise already, but it is worth looking at as I've not had this particular situation before in a "social" environment on-line.

I'm talking about collateral damage - when a friendly person says something bad about you in public I belong to one network of people that are in my contact lists across multiple networks - my contacts network (which are independent from the network I am on at the time) has a range of people from both developing countries and the UK and USA - also from a range of social backgrounds in terms of education,employment and cash to spend - some of them are my up lines in affiliate programs, some are in my downlines, I also have my wholesale and retail suppliers in my social contacts network.

In old skool marketing (where I started 8 years ago) with an American slant I'd call the following scenario a "Two-Pronged attack" - the intent, according to the ethos of this particular network is 'friendly' and I have no reason to doubt this is the case (unless I was nominated by someone that doesn't like me of course), so I'll try and keep this as vague as possible, I belong to loads of networks so hopefully by explaining what the poison might be, you can be prepared for a similar disaster event in your own marketing efforts and take evasive action. - It might be the case that the poison is good for some people and causes an allergic reaction in others. Big companies deal with this all the time, they have the mental resources to fight fire with fire - or rainbow with rainbow (if they are the non violent types)

It is useful for affiliates and marketers to know - that if you put your real photo on a social network you might get someone say something really horrible about it - to do you a favor - this could potentially backfire if it gets into google with your name and your primary niche attached to it - sounds like good old fashioned 1.0 marketing to me, with an insidious twist - it is for your own good - so it's back to battle stations on alert from me - THEY - are still alive and out to get you baby don't let your guard down again!!!

What happens when Cinderella doesn't leave the ball at midnight:

So imagine you are at a fancy dress party, you go with group of friends and you have been going to it for many years. Your costume isn't that great, maybe you are a bit poor and rather then the nice shiny fabrics others are wearing you decided to wear what you have, bottle tops and tin foil and scraps of paper.

You've been wearing this costume for many years and you think that maybe it's time to look at wearing something a bit more flattering but you are unsure if it is the right move. Nobody has ever complained or mentioned your costume, they are friendly hosts and accept people from all backgrounds, but this year you decide to take a new costume anyhow and plan to change into it once you get there, rather than turn up in a new dress and make a grand entrance (a grand entrance is like a prelaunch something that is not my cup of tea (or coffee!).

Now you have invited friends, they are all standing around chatting and talking as usual, you are mingling as usual all seems normal and friendly. Then a good friend of the host comes up to you and your friends - she is well known (as you are about to find out) she designed the costumes of the host, she is well turned out and liked, you have seen her about over the years but haven't particularly watched what she is doing when she mingles with the hosts and their social circle of fine clothed people.

What you didn't know, but came to realize was that this lady judges the costumes every year - you weren't aware that such a thing even existed at the party, what competition you think as she begins to look you up and down ? looking puzzled your friends gather around to listen to what she has to say about your costume...

The judgment goes straight in for the kill - she tells you you personally look terrible (your personal brand sucks prong 1.) and your dress is a heap of bottle tops and paper sown together in a such a bad design that it would put them off associating with you in public in case anyone thought you were actually together at the party (your personal branding is putting people off your product and services prong 2.).

She recommends a couple of fundamental changes you could make to instantly make you more popular and acceptable , that is her job (as you are finding out) - then pulling out the big, fat ZERO card as judgment - she walks off to the next group of people.

Due to being a "lady" you faint - and fail to see just how many of your friends have been influenced by this judgment and left your circle of friends, you have been branded a Zero - so it doesn't seem right in the circumstances to wear your new costume - as friends are of mixed opinion - will make any difference now you think ?

Some of them have clothes only slightly better than your own, some have clothing that equal the quality of the hosts. Some friends defend your honor - and your cheap clothes - reminding people that a person is more than their costume, there is more to this party than the beauty competition right ?

Others wonder why you are confused, you are lucky to be chosen by the hosts dress maker for such a judgment - it is an honor, so you say thank you and go out for some fresh air to try and decide the next course of action, you've actually grown fond of your rags in a strange kind of way as you know that the friends you have are not judging you on your dress, the clothes have kept you warm, your dress would never match up to the quality of the hosts circle in reality, you'd never agree to be judged in such a way in front of friends without warning.

You also know that none of your friends would surely have nominated you, in your cheap dress to be judged in a negative way in public next to the fine costumes... like putting a 3 wheeler next to a Ferrari and expecting people not to take the piss out of the old banger.

Question is - does it matter if you are given a negative review in a highly public place in front of friends ? - Should a person be thankful - or have they effectively been ousted from the circle of influence by proxy ? (we are all equal on the Internet- unless someone of greater influence says you are LESS equal) - Bearing in mind the mantra of social networking is to be liked, does bad press in social networking make you more liked or more ignored ?